I sent one of my guys a text the other day. Two words: “Good job!!” with too many exclamation points. Should’ve taken me two seconds. Took me a few minutes.
He’d just closed a big account we’d been chasing. Everyone on the team was hyped. And I’m sitting there staring at my phone going, why do I feel weird telling him good job? He’s way better at sales than I’ll ever be. He doesn’t need me to tell him that.
I sent it. Obviously. But that pause before I hit send? That’s been showing up for 13 years and I’m honestly just now putting a name on it.
Nobody Tells You This Part
When you open a business, people tell you about the money stuff. The long hours. The risk. Cool, fine, I was ready for all of that.
Nobody told me that one day I’d be surrounded by people who are flat-out better at their jobs than I am. And that would somehow make me feel like I don’t belong in my own company.
That’s the weird part about growing something. Early on, you do everything. You’re brewing, you’re bartending, you’re doing the books, you’re mopping floors at midnight because there’s nobody else. You know every inch of the place because you literally built it with your hands.
And then it works. So you hire people. Good people. People who are better at sales than you. Better at operations. Better at the stuff you were barely holding together at 2 AM with a spreadsheet and a prayer.
And instead of thinking “wow, I built something good enough that really talented people want to be part of it,” you think: I’m a phony. These people are going to figure out I don’t know what I’m doing.
Cool. Super healthy.
The Contradiction Nobody Talks About
Here’s what’s weird. I can look at our business — 13 years, incredible team, things genuinely going well — and still have a voice in my head going yeah but do you actually know what you’re doing?
It’s not that things are bad. It’s that things are good and I’m not sure I deserve the credit. Imposter syndrome doesn’t show up when you’re failing. It shows up when you’re winning and you can’t figure out why.
The Part That Actually Got to Me
What finally snapped me out of it wasn’t some motivational quote or a self-help book. It was realizing that my hesitation has a cost.
Every time I almost don’t say “good job” because I don’t feel like I’ve earned the right to, that’s not me being humble. That’s me not giving someone credit they deserve.
My team has no idea what’s going on in my head. They don’t know I’m having some internal crisis about whether I’m qualified to encourage them. All they know is whether I said something or didn’t.
And when your boss says nothing? That doesn’t come across as “she’s being humble.” It comes across as “she didn’t notice.”
I started thinking about all the times I held back. All the “that was amazing” and “I’m really proud of you” that I swallowed because I felt like a fraud saying them. All the people who probably went home after a great day thinking nobody cared.
Yeah. That hit different.
What I’m Figuring Out (Emphasis on “Figuring”)
I don’t have a framework. I don’t have five steps. This isn’t that kind of article. But here’s where I am right now:
They don’t need you to be the best at their job. They need you to notice. A “good job” from a leader who saw what happened is worth way more than silence from one who’s waiting to feel worthy enough to say it.
More success doesn’t fix it. I kept thinking if we hit some number or won some award, I’d finally feel like I deserved to be in the room. Nope. The room just keeps getting bigger and the voice in my head just finds new material.
Saying it out loud helps. The first time I told another business owner “I feel like a fraud sometimes,” turns out she did too. And so did the next one. And the next one. We’re all just really good at pretending we’re not.
Maybe “getting by” is actually thriving. If your version of just getting by involves leading people, serving your community, solving problems that would make most people quit, and showing up every day whether you feel like it or not, that’s not getting by. That IS the thing.
Here’s What I Think Now
I used to think being a leader meant having the answers. Being confident. Being the person in the room who knows.
Now I think it’s sending the text anyway. Saying “good job” when your brain is screaming that you’re not the one who should be saying it. Making the call when you’re not sure. Showing up on the days you want to hide.
The fact that you care this much about getting it right? That’s probably why you’re good at it.
So if you’re reading this nodding your head, if you run a business or manage a team or lead anything, really, and sometimes you wonder if everyone else has their act together while you’re out here winging it. Hi. I see you.
You’re not winging it. You’re building something real.
And for what it’s worth, good job.
